Dear Reformed Blog Reader, or “That Guy”:
What I’m about to write here, I mean in all truth, sincerity, and brotherly love. My goal is not to offend or create a flame war, rather I just want to tell you the truth (in love). So, here goes.
Please stop reading blogs. For the love of all that is decent in this sinful world, stop going to your feed reader, stop checking in with the Reformed Baptists, and please, for the love of God, stop commenting on these blogs.
I don’t write this selfishly; I can easily avoid reading these blogs and your idiotic comments. I write this for your health, and for the health of those you love: Stop. Reading. Blogs. It’s for your own good, like when your mom took away your security blanket. You need this.
If I can be blunt here, you are really annoying (I’m struggling with language, my baser instincts tell me to be honest and say “You’re a douchebag.”) All this constant blog reading, trying to straighten up everyone’s theology, and especially the comments about how everyone but you (and your church of 20) has gone down the path of worldliness, well, it’s gone on long enough.
Please, just stop it. Go out and do something else. Leave all of your theology books behind and go out and enjoy life. Go to a park and see how much fun a slide is. Pet a puppy. Talk to a girl. If you’re married, try talking to your wife about something she‘s interested in. Go to the mall and have an Auntie Anne’s pretzel. Watch one of those really crappy Syfy movies on a Saturday afternoon. Please, just do something other than blog reading.
Listen, I’ve been where you are. I’ve looked around and seen all of the errors, and I have wanted with all of my heart to correct everyone’s theology. In the end, it’s just not worth it. You are not doing anyone any good; condemning people to hell with a keystroke might seem like fun, but it’s ruining you.
When you come back, the world will still be here (assuming you aren’t reading this is 2012, because if you are, you’re screwed). Christians who confess Jesus Christ as Lord will still be doing something wrong. But maybe, prayerfully, you’re perspective will have changed. Maybe you will see that change doesn’t always require turning over tables and telling people to castrate themselves (I’m not denying there aren’t times when this is required). Change can oftentimes be achieved by loving your neighbor as yourself.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope it helps.
PS–If you are thinking about commenting, keep in mind the words of Admiral Ackbar, “It’s a trap!”